Forget The Milkman
by theatricalice
Summary: The only thing better than Hairspray, that's me! Smidgets of goodness about our favourite musical characters.
1. Dream Man

**Helloo! Yes, I should be working on my other story, but this is a little side project to release my writers block.**

**This is hopefully going to contain millions and millions of Hairspray drabbles and maybe the occasional Wicked and Harry Potter drabble. I'd love for you guys to request some. They're not chronological, and some of them will be a load of crap, and contain various pairings, but oh well. Review, if you want. **

**(I don't think they can all be exactly 100 words long, but I'll try. ******

Her eyes glazed over the rest of the council, and landed on one person in particular, as he adjusted his collar and smoothed back his hair. Amber's heart started to thump when he made his way over to her, and took her hand.

They whirled around the dance floor, oblivious to everyone staring at them in awe and sometimes disgust. He smiled and caressed her cheek gently.

As he leant forward and kissed her softly, Amber awoke with a start.

She sighed in annoyance, but she was overjoyed, to say the least, when she saw a mass of dark hair on the pillow next to her, and he turned over to peck her cheek.

However, she sighed once more.

"This is a dream, isn't it?" she said sadly.

"I'm afraid so, baby doll." he whispered, kissing her lips again.

_Ah well, _Amber thought, winding her arms around Corny's neck, _My dream man will do, for now._


	2. Seaweed's Interruption

**Hey. Umm…this is possibly the most peculiar thing I have ever written. So yeah. :)**

"_Tracy, I'll be yours forever, cause I never wanna be, without lo…__"_

"_Woah woah wooaaaaaaah_!" Seaweed suddenly interrupted.

The joyful romantic music suddenly grinded to a halt as the two boys faced each other, Seaweed smiling innocently, Link glaring angrily.

"What on earth is going on?" Penny asked, bemused.

"Seaweed just cut into my bit?"

"So?"

"What the hell d'you mean, so?!" Link yelped, slowly getting more stressed.

"Link," Tracy sighed, exasperated, "Stop pouting!"

"I'm not pouting! And besides, he can't just do that!"

Seaweed was still grinning infuriatingly.

"Of course he can! He's Seaweed!" Penny piped up, blushing.

"He can do whatever the hell he likes!" Tracy added.

The music restarted and Seaweed began his solo.

Link pouted.


	3. Middle Names

Tracy loved Link.

That was an understatement. She loved everything about him, his egotistical qualities, his girly shrieks every time he saw a beetle, the way he fiddled with the curl on his head when he was nervous.

Well, Tracy didn't quite love _everything _about him.

Thanks to a little chat with Amber in the corridor, she realised that Link was not being completely honest with her.

Yes, it was true; she loved…almost everything about him.

But it was rather difficult to call him the coolest guy in Baltimore when his middle name was Frances.


	4. Silly Squabbles

**Err…I don't know if this is very well written or not, I just wanted to shove a bit of Penweed into this series, considering people have been starved of it.**

**This is dedicated to all the Penweed nuts, aka Nor of Kiami Ko, Just Another Hairspray Lover.**

**And also my lovely Penny loon, Arienna/Kat. :)**

**Please help me by reviewing with con-crit, and suggestions/challenges for more drabbles?**

"Sweet Jesus Penny, will you just calm down?"

"No! I will not!" Penny bellowed, her cheeks flushed bright red and her eyes blazing, "You think you can look down on me, just because I'm not on that damn Corny Collins Show?"

"Oh, just cry me a river, Pingleton. You're being immature," he scoffed.

"I'm being immature?! The whole world doesn't revolve around dance!"

Just another silly squabble had escalated into a full blown fight. Link stood anxiously to the side, trying not to act like a spectator.

"You see, this is your problem…"

"Oh great, do you want to tell me what else is wrong with me?" Penny interrupted angrily, "I get enough shit from my mother without you criticising me!"

"Goddammit! I was just going to say you're too sensitive!"

"Look you two…"

"Stay out of this Larkin!" she growled.

Link backed away hastily and slipped out of the door. There was a deafening silence as the two glared at each other.

"OH, GO TO HELL!"

"GLADLY, TO GET AWAY FROM YOU!"

But the blazing row was cut off as their lips met, and Seaweed wound his arms around her waist as the two kissed passionately in the middle of the room.

"I hate you," she mumbled against his lips.

"Yeah babe, I love you too."


	5. Note to Self

Tracy and Seaweed stared, astonished and rather disgusted, at their respective partners.

What started off as a nice, quiet double date had gone wildly out of control when Seaweed ordered a bottle of wine to share.

Distinguished diners at neighbouring tables were tutting at Penny and Link, as the two continued to act like idiots.

"Note to self, never let them drink again," Seaweed muttered to Tracy, causing her to snort.

"GET SHOR HANDSH OFFA MY WUMMAN, SHTUBBS!" Penny slurred, proceeding to collapse onto the table.

"Have you ever walked on stilts?" asked Link sincerely, "It's not that great."

This was followed by a manic cackle, and yet another person thumped his head on the table and began to snore.

Needless to say, Penny Pingleton and Link Larkin could most definitely _not _hold their alcohol.


	6. Waiting Room

**Very, very short drabble. I decided to give Brenda/Fender a go. Review?**

The hands of the clock worked its way around agonizingly slowly, and there was an awkward silence between the two people in the waiting room.

"C-can I ask you something?" Brenda said shakily.

"Sure, anything."

"Will you still love me with a baby on the way that might not even be yours?"

"Baby, I'd still love you if an alligator bit off your face."

Brenda had to admit, that was pretty romantic. For Fender, anyway.


	7. Mother Collins

The loud buzzer rang through the ears of the council members, as did the familiar cry of "And we're off!"

However, the gentle murmur throughout the studio was broken by the slamming of the fire exit, as an eccentric looking old woman waddled in, clutching a leather purse.

"CORNWALLIS ARTHUR COLLINS!" she roared, causing Corny to immediately scuttle to her side.

Seaweed snorted.

"Cornwallis?!"

The woman shot him an angry look.

"Well Cornwallis? Are you not going to introduce me to these hooligans?" she jerked her head in the direction of the four.

"Yes Mother," Corny mumbled, flushing bright red.

"Is Corny _blushing_?"

He shot Tracy a filthy look.

"Mother, this is Seaweed, Penny, Tracy, and Link."

On the mention of his name, Link turned on the Larkin Charm, and flashed her a wink and a grin. However, on seeing Mrs Collins' horrified face, Link could pretty much guess what was coming next.

SMACK.


	8. Being Impulsive

**Hey. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed. I plan to do hundreds of these.**

**This was inspired by beta extraordinaire, Obviously-Insane.**

**I'm going to do the other suggestions at some point in the future. **

IQ scurried out of the gates, hastily shoving a mound of books into his bag. Hurrying down the road, he didn't notice Amber leaning against a tree.

"Need any help?"

He turned around so fast he almost got whiplash, and unexpectedly flushed a deep crimson, regarding the girl he was talking to.

"N-no…I'm fine."

Amber had been withdrawn for some weeks after the pageant, but it seemed she was back to her old cocky self. She raised an eyebrow.

"You don't look it. Here…" she made to hold the bag, but he clung on.

The seams suddenly split and books spilled onto the floor.

"Oops," she giggled, while IQ glared. 

_How could he ever have been in love with this girl?_

"You really shouldn't make light of everything."

"You really should take the rod out of your ass and be more impulsive."

The blonde bent down to pick up the books, and snorted at his choice.

"Astronomy? Oh, this is priceless; you carry around a pocket telescope?"

"My interests are of no business to you." he said coldly.

"Nerd."

"Slut."

After glaring at each other for a few seconds, IQ suddenly leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers.

"W-what are you doing?" she whispered throatily when they broke apart.

"Being impulsive."


	9. Your Mom

"I'm sick of you thinking I'm so uncool because I'm white!" Link exclaimed at Seaweed.

"Cracker, you know I don't think that."

"And that name, Cracker! You just think I'm some damn white girly man!" he shrieked.

"Dude, how can I not? You use moisturiser!" Seaweed yelled back, snorting slightly.

"IT KEEPS MY PORES OPEN!"

Seaweed burst into hysterical laughter, causing Link to turn purple.

"YOUR MOM!" Link bellowed, for lack of a better insult.

"YOUR FACE!"

"YOUR MOM'S FACE!"

Suddenly, the doors flung open to reveal an angry looking Maybelle.

"Damn you two! Can you not shut yo' traps for just _one second_!"

She crossed the room to hit Seaweed in the arm. 

"What was that for!" he said, wincing.

"Callin' him a girly man!"

Maybelle went to leave the room, but whacked Link's head on the way out.

The smirk was wiped off his face and he whimpered as he attempted to smooth his hair back into shape.

"And that was for!"

"Talkin' bout ma face!"


	10. Hate?

**I just realised; I like reading slash, but I have never actually written it. So here's an AmberShelley. You AmberShelley veterans please review and tell me if it's shoe crud or rather good. **

**And I have to mention my friend Eve-Cullen for the "Hate is a passionate emotion" thing, or she will sue me, apparently. **

Amber wasn't entirely sure what it was about the redhead that made her blood boil.

It wasn't the way she insisted on making a fool out of her on live television; she'd had enough of that from fellow pageant contestants since she was five for it to get to her.

It wasn't the way she flirted and giggled every time she was around Link, occasionally bashing into him and staying pressed against his shoulder a little too long for Amber's liking.

It wasn't even the way she once accidentally-on-purpose poured a whole bottle of peach nail polish all over her brand new white dress, just before her first Miss Teenage Hairspray. 

Despite all the annoyances, no matter how big, she still couldn't put her finger on what caused the incandescent hatred for the girl.

Suddenly, as if on cue, Shelley McAdams strode past, smirking arrogantly and swishing her hips, causing Amber's eyes to widen.

She couldn't stand it; the hatred bubbling inside her was too strong.

Amber grabbed Shelley's shoulder and spun her around, planning to give her a slap.

However, she found her lips inexplicably pressed against hers, and a sharp slap on her cheek as the redhead angrily broke away.

_Well_, Amber thought, as she watched the girl storm out of the room, _Hate is a very passionate emotion._

**Before you guys go, I apologize for ending two consecutive drabbles in a spontaneous, unexpected kiss. I just couldn't end them otherwise.**

**The next one will be different:)**


	11. Scary Movie

After a long day of dancing, nothing sounded better to four friends than a night of movies and popcorn

**This one isn't very well written; I just wanted to give Seaweed some embarrassment for a change. I think I've humiliated Link enough.**

**And thanks to everyone who reviewed, favourite, alerted, ect.**

**I love these drabbles, they're so fun to write, and I don't think I'll stop.**

After a long day of dancing, nothing sounded better to four friends than a night of movies and popcorn.

"Sure little cracker won't get scared by the scary movie?" Seaweed said in a mocking voice, his arm around Penny.

Link snorted.

"That was once. Once!"

"Well you'll be sorry when you end up hiding behind Tracy like last time."

"Maybe _you'll _get scared."

Seaweed started laughing.

"Not likely."

Thirty minutes into the movie, Penny was on the edge of her seat, an evil grin on her face.

"Seaweed, isn't this gross? Don't you _love _it?"

Suddenly, Link began to giggle; pointing at the floor, for Seaweed was hiding behind the back of his seat.

"Too scary, Stubbs? Want to see that Marilyn Monroe romance instead? "

"No, no way!" said Seaweed, too quickly, "I was…err….looking for my shoe. I lost it."

Seaweed quickly regained his laid back swagger and leant back in his seat.

However, about an hour later, Link felt something grab him around the middle.

"Trace? If you wanna see something else…"

But as Link glanced down, he saw that it was not Tracy hugging his waist.

The dark boy was rocking backwards and forwards, burying his face into Link's sweater.

"Don't go into the house!" he shrieked, "It's in there! IT'S IN THERE!"

Seaweed suddenly realised what he was doing, and sat up frantically, blushing.

After a few shushes from fellow audience members, Link turned to look at him, smirking.

"So, how does Marilyn sound?"

Seaweed grumbled something under his breath as he stomped out of the cinema.


	12. My Bad

Okay, I can't resist embarrassing Link

**Okay, I can't resist embarrassing Link. **

Link lay flat on the moth-eaten bed of his dingy hotel room.

It was late evening, and he was halfway through the run of a Broadway show he was starring in. Usually, he would have been jumping for joy at the prospect of singing and dancing in front of so many people, but recently, he hadn't been his usual self, and was generally depressed in every rehearsal.

Rolling over and looking at the photo of a grinning, dark haired girl, he suddenly realised why.

At the Turnblad residence, the phone began to ring. It was answered almost immediately.

"I'm on the train home now," a voice said from down the phone, "I love you and miss you. So when I return, I will drag you to the nearest bedroom and make passionate love to you until daylight."

"Link Larkin, is that you?!"

"M-Mrs Turnblad?" 


End file.
